A Promise Kept: A Father, A Daughter, and the Gentle Giants of the Sea

An Awe-Inspiring Adventure Snorkeling with the Manatees

A father-daughter bucket list experience; promises kept.

With her arms outstretched and eyes closed, Rose stood trembling at the bow of the Titanic. Her bravery solely based on her faith that Jack would never let her fall.

Decades before James Cameron filmed that now-famous scene, I used to stand exactly the same way at the bow of my father’s boat. I didn’t have Leonardo Di Caprio there to catch me if I fell. He wasn’t born yet.

Before I could even walk, I spent every weekend of my childhood until the age of six with my father. The two of us would adventure around Tampa Bay in his little speedboat, zip out to the Gulf of Mexico, exploring Egmont Key along with the secret fishing holes my dad knew best.

I took my first steps on that boat. I baited my own hook on that boat. I was a darned good first mate. Every weekend as we headed out to the Gulf of Mexico, the coast fading in the distance, my dad would let me stand at the bow, arms out, dolphins racing along our side. Just like Rose.

You see, I was the first born and was supposed to be a boy named Darrin. I ended up being a girl named Michele. If my parents were disappointed, they didn’t let it show. My dad just tossed me in his boat and off we went.

By the way, no offense to anyone named Darrin, but I have to admit that I was relieved to be a Michele.

Hitting the Road

The drive from Orlando to Homosassa, FL is one I can do in my sleep. My parents lived there for over twenty years and as a semi-adequate daughter, I’d visit as much as possible.

I was on the road to swim with the manatees and experience the wonders of Crystal River and Homosassa; wonders already close to my heart. I had been extended a generous invitation by Discover Crystal River Florida, and gratefully accepted. What they didn’t know was I was on my way to keep a promise I made to my father.

I had actually been putting off this swim for four years. It had been on my list of things to do—I suppose you could call it a bucket list. It was complicated.

The term bucket list was first used in 1999 and gained popularity in 2007. Created by screenwriter Justin Zackham who wrote the screenplay for the movie “The Bucket List,” it was based on Zackham’s personal list called, “Justin’s List of Things to Do before I Kick the Bucket.” Based on the cryptic phrase “kicking the bucket,” it really wasn’t a trend I was anxious to embrace. Neither was my dad.

My father never really had a bucket list. He didn’t need one. Every day was an adventure. He had goals, aspirations, he worked hard and played even harder. When I think about it, his whole life was a bucket list.

Rediscovering Crystal River

I must admit it felt a bit odd visiting Crystal River and not staying with my parents. Just between us, I did drive by their old home. Even though it was sold two years ago and painted a different color, it felt like visiting an old friend.

What a glorious surprise when I pulled up to my hotel, Plantation on Crystal River. With its stunning fountain at the entrance, graced by a circle of manatee statues, this 232 acre, 50-year-old eco-friendly resort was just what the doctor ordered.

Entrance to the Plantation on Crystal River

It was as if I stepped back in time, experiencing the peace and tranquility of old Florida. Surrounded by the natural springs of Kings Bay, I was delighted to find that my room opened up to a scenic canal, complete with boats and lush garden paths; a perfect place to sit and soak in the peaceful ambiance. A perfect place for reflection.

Kings Bay is one of the largest aquifers in the state and home to more than 400 West Indian manatees that migrate each year to bask in the warm waters. Kings Bay was where I would experience my manatee swim. With so many activities available at the Plantation on Crystal River, it was tempting to escape to their spa or take advantage of their many activities like golfing, boating, or fishing. But since I had a 5 a.m. wake up call for my morning swim with the manatees, I hit the exceptionally comfortable sheets.

My dad was born in Lake Charles, LA in 1932. His childhood read as if it had been plucked from a Mark Twain novel. He told me stories of his youthful escapades, swinging from vines in the swamps and bayous, running with a group of rascally boys that would disappear for days, hunting, fishing, always on an adventure. At the age of 18, he enlisted in the Air Force and he was off to see the world.

His final station was MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, where he fell in love with the St. Petersburg, the Gulf of Mexico and my mother, not in that order.

When my father and mother retired, they moved to Homosassa where he immediately bought a boat. When I’d visit, off we’d go each weekend, another adventure. Swimming with hammerheads, fishing, exploring the keys. My seat was always at the bow, wind in my hair, dolphins racing by the side of our boat. He kept his boat in a marina located in Kings Bay.

In the last months of my father’s life, I spent hours by his bedside, and we talked about the things we wanted to do, our bucket list. We both agreed that the one adventure we would love to share was to swim with the manatees. He was upset with himself that he had lived in Homosassa for 20 years and had yet to make the trip. He promised me and himself that he would get better and we would make the reservations.

As his health declined and it was evident he wasn’t going to be well enough to make the swim, he asked if he could possibly be wheeled out to the boat and watch me make the swim. I said yes, I would make the swim for both of us. He passed away a few weeks later.

On the Day of My Swim

The wakeup call came awfully early. As luck would have it, that morning was the coldest of the year. I put on my swimsuit and coat, brought my supplies and headed out to Manatee Tour and Dive, where they sat us down and showed us a safety video instructing us how to interact with the manatees.

Great care was taken to teach us how to paddle safely, how to use our snorkels and gear, how to responsibly interact with the manatees. We were instructed not to initiate touch or to pet them, but to float through the experience. The instructor did tell us that if a manatee does come up to you, touch you and attempt to interact with you, it was acceptable to give them a soft pet or tummy rub.

Photos courtesy of Discover Crystal River

After squeezing into my wetsuit, we took the freezing boat ride to Kings Bay. Once we stopped, I was surprised to see my father’s old marina off in the distance. I slipped from the boat into Kings Bay, the 72-degree spring water a welcome relief, and paddled over to the hundreds of manatees who were delicately floating, eating grass, observing us as we observed them.

Magical. Spiritual. Looking into the eye of a two-thousand-pound manatee as it rubbed against you is something I will never forget. The Manatee Tour and Dive guide was with us the entire time. When a baby manatee popped up out of the water and kissed me—yes, that really happened—the guide told me that I could touch the manatee gently. The baby stayed by my side almost the entire time.

I was taken aback by the beauty, the different colors ranging from almost white to dark black. I was sad to see the propellor scars on many of their bodies. I was devastated to see one manatee with the letter “C” carved into its body. Yet, these peaceful creatures approached us, trusted us, just as we trusted them.

Once our group started to make their way back to the boat, I took a moment to swim off to the side, a moment to be alone. But I wasn’t alone. I removed the small pouch of ashes I had tucked under the sleeve of my wetsuit and opened the bag under the water. I looked through my goggles as I released my father’s ashes, allowing them to sift gently to the floor of Kings Bay. The ashes weren’t dark or grey as I had always imagined, but white, glittery, magical, just like my dad.

We make lists throughout our lives. Grocery lists. To-do lists. Bucket lists. We cling to these lists, plans made to give our lives direction, meaning, purpose. We check off our tasks, yet our lists remain incomplete. Our lists are never finished.

Kate Winslet’s Rose had Leonardo Di Caprio’s Jack to hold her and keep her safe on the bow of the Titanic. I was brave because I had my father, always keeping me safe.

I was at my father’s side when he passed away in 2019, an honor I’ll never forget. And my dad was with me when I made my once-in-a-lifetime manatee swim. I can hear him laughing at me because he knows what a wimp I am in the cold water.

My swim with the manatees was an experience that will never leave me. And isn’t that what bucket list experiences are all about?